Poker is supposed to be a relaxing and (ideally) profitable way to spend your time. But if and when certain WWE Superstars would walk into the poker room and take a seat at the table, the game could potentially go from “fun poker night” to a full-blown steel cage match with chips. Don’t get me wrong — there are plenty of WWE Superstars I’d love to play poker with in 2025, but there are also a select group of them that I’d personally consider to be “undesirable” at the felt.
It being WrestleMania season, and with the “Show of Shows” emanating from Las Vegas for only the second time (the previous time being 32 years ago!), it put me in the mood to craft a new 2025-era take on an article concept that I first tried a dozen years ago. So without any further ado, here are the 10 WWE Superstars I’d absolutely hate to play poker with in 2025.
1. Jey Uso
Both in poker and in professional wrestling, it’s really tough to face a champion at the peak of his prowess. Just when you think Jey Uso is completely out of line with that all-in, he’d flip over the nuts like it’s just another day in The Bloodline. His unpredictable energy and psychological warfare (learned from years of tag team trickery with his brother Jimmy) make him the poker equivalent of a “maniac” who will constantly keep you guessing. I could see him alternating between giggling mid-hand and going stone silent, messing with my timing and getting me to give off tells. I would certainly not want to be playing defense throughout the session, and I have a feeling I’d just be moving from one hand to the next while dodging his superkicks.
You cannot teach what Jey Uso has…His connection to our audience, his passion, his charisma…and generations of this business running through his veins.
Jey @WWEUsos is your new World Heavyweight Champion. Congratulations…and…
🙌YEET🙌 pic.twitter.com/2RHZsPfEJa
— Triple H (@TripleH) April 20, 2025
2. Chelsea Green
There’s always that one person who turns a peaceful home game into a three-ring circus. Enter Chelsea Green. Poker with her isn’t about cards, but rather about spectacle. I could totally see her arguing about chip colors, accusing an opponent of soft playing or going south, and probably demanding to speak to the “poker room manager” after losing a flip. And don’t be surprised if she live-tweets every bad beat while demanding a “recount” of the pot. Her dramatics are a bigger tilt factor than any bad river card and I don’t want any part of that at my table.
Filing an IMMEDIATE injunction against @wwe & the 10 count infringement they placed on their United States Champion. 🫡 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/3PdYsZI8oo
— CHELSEA GREEN (@ImChelseaGreen) April 12, 2025
3. Dominik Mysterio
OK, I’ll admit that after just winning the Intercontinental Title, he’s grown on me ever so slightly but the fact remains, I would NOT want Dominik Mysterio at my poker table. He’s the guy who plays every hand, wins with garbage, and won’t stop talking about it. “Dirty Dom” brings that perfect mix of heel energy and smugness that would likely have everyone tilting. He’d probably insist on wearing his Judgment Day hoodie and sunglasses indoors, trying to look cool while slow-rolling a straight. His ever-present cocky smirk would throw me off my game because I’d just be fuming and wanting to stack him. Good luck staying focused with his running commentary in your ear!
DOMINIK MYSTERIO. G.O.A.T 🐐 #WrestleMania pic.twitter.com/0od4Q4XgEt
— netflixbrasil (@NetflixBrasil) April 21, 2025
4. Braun Strowman
Look, there’s a lot to love about Braun Strowman. He’s a gentle giant… until he’s not. One bad beat and the table might need to be reinforced with steel. I could totally see him doing this. And if you suck out on him? Expect a death stare, a growl, and a very real fear he might slam cards straight through the table. Nobody wants their tournament life or poker session to end with a flipped table and a roar.
You should have killed me when you had the chance!!!!! pic.twitter.com/OdEiEUairw
— The Monster of all Monsters (@Adamscherr99) January 26, 2025
5. Damian Priest
Damian Priest doesn’t need to talk. He just stares, and suddenly, you’re folding pocket queens out of fear of Señor Intimidation. He’d shuffle his chips with eerie precision, and make each bet just as calculated as a Judgment Day sentence. That icy demeanor and methodical playing style are enough to send chills down anyone’s spine. By the end of the night, he’d have my chips… and quite frankly I’d prefer to hang on to them, thank you.
— Damian Priest (@ArcherOfInfamy) November 30, 2024
6. Logan Paul
Talk about heat… if there’s one WWE Superstar who has it right now, it’s this guy. While I certainly respect Logan Paul‘s aptitude and physical abilities, I don’t want him anywhere near me at a poker table. Between promoting his latest venture or product, his utter nonstop loudness, and mugging for whatever cameras would be sure to be on him while he plays, he’d be a distraction at best and a royal pain in the ass at worst. If you lose a pot, it’ll be trending on X before the next hand is dealt. Who wants someone like that sitting next to you at the felt? That’s a recipe for a miserable poker session. Table change, please!
“Shocker” lol https://t.co/lERJRUEe4L
— Logan Paul (@LoganPaul) April 21, 2025
7. Jacob Fatu
The same reasons I enjoy watching Jacob Fatu in the ring are the ones why I wouldn’t want him at my poker table. He doesn’t bluff. He doesn’t speak. He stares through your soul. Every move feels like it’s backed by a promise of destruction. If he pushes a stack in, no one dares to question whether he’s got the goods. Fold or call, it’s a lose-lose situation. You’re either giving up your chips or bracing for impact. I’d much prefer he sticks to the squared circle where I could watch him inflict damage on others.
DESTROYER
And new United States Champion at #WrestleMania. pic.twitter.com/quKtj4SUMK
— Triple H (@TripleH) April 20, 2025
8. Raquel Rodriguez
I mean this with great respect to the art of professional wrestling and Raquel Rodriguez‘s performance of that art, but I just don’t know what it is that she would bring to the poker table. There’s nothing about her gimmick that intrigues or interests me, and frankly I feel like I’d find her a bit boring as a poker table companion. If I’m playing poker I want to enjoy myself above all, so I don’t need any “seat fillers” there just to shuffle chips. So, respectfully, I’ll pass on Raquel in favor of having other WWE Superstars take a seat when I’m playing.
RAQUEL RODRIGUEZ EST DE RETOUR#WWEBadBlood pic.twitter.com/E9e31J3fDF
— Catch-Newz (@CatchNewz) October 6, 2024
9. Jade Cargill
I can sum up why I would hate to play poker with Jade Cargill in just two words: too intimidating! Her chip stacks would be flawless and she’d command everyone’s attention with every raise, call and even fold. Everything she does in the ring is so damn impressive that I have no doubt she’d take that same approach to playing poker and deliver one outstanding performance after another. And to boot, just when you think you’ve figured her out, she’d likely change gears and felt you with style and panache. Yeah, I’ll pass on gambling it up with this Glamazon.
Countdown. pic.twitter.com/jzNisw97h6
— Jade Cargill (@Jade_Cargill) April 12, 2025
10. AJ Styles
Would you want to play poker against a phenomenal player? Someone whose years of experience, playing style, dedication to the craft, and pure skill make him a force to be reckoned with at the table? To say that overcoming such an opponent would be a challenge would be an understatement. AJ Styles has all those characteristics in spades… and he’d likely have them in hearts, clubs, and diamonds, too. He’s one step ahead, even when he’s behind, and losing to him would feel … inevitable.
I MAKE THIS LOOK GOOD! #Undertaker30 @WWE pic.twitter.com/CVieDKyxpS
— AJ Styles (@AJStylesOrg) November 12, 2020
Thanks, But Please Cross Those Players Off the List
If you’re already going to go to the effort to craft a “dream table” for yourself, you want to pick players who would enhance your poker experience rather than detract from it. I think I’ve made it pretty clear why I’d hate to play poker with the aforementioned 10 WW Superstars in 2025. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my little “fantasy booking” poker piece — or rather, who I’d never book in seats at my table.
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